A friend on Facebook this week asked this question.  “What is the difference between being negative and being a realist?”  This spurred a rather lengthy discussion with a variety of opinions.  My answer was “we create our reality, whether it is positive or negative”.   In other words, your reality is all in your perception and whether it is negative or positive depends on your thoughts.  I have learned that thinking positively creates more positive results in my life. 

This really hits home for me this week. For the most part, I try to focus on what’s positive and good in my life.  There are times however, when this is difficult to do. Life has its ups and downs.  Feeling happy or sad are human emotions that need to be acknowledged and expressed to live authentically.  If I said my life was wonderful right now, it would not be honest or authentic.

Over the last few weeks my family has been struggling with looking after our mom and stepdad as their health deteriorates.  Although it is very difficult for all of us, I try to focus on what is good. 

I am grateful that I have seven other siblings who can take an active role in her care.  I know that I would not be able to do it alone.  When it is my turn, I am grateful to have the time and special moments to share with her. 

There are times too when the eight of us don’t agree on things when it comes to her well-being, but I am grateful that we are able to discuss our opinions opening and honestly and understand that we are all under a lot of stress and pressure trying to do the right thing.

We all want what is best for her, we all want to be there for her, and we understand that when things are said out of anger or frustration, it is because of the situation and not a personal attack on the person.  We are able to apologize and get on with what needs to be done.

We are being authentic and recognizing that we are all human and have feelings, and differences of opinions, and work through these as new circumstances beyond our control challenge us.  We feel bad for things we say, we feel guilty for things we may not have handled the way we wish we had.  We need to remember we are all doing our best, with the knowledge we have at the moment. 

What we have learned is respect and understanding for each other.  We have learned how to apologize and how to forgive, and we have learned that no matter what life brings, we will get through.  And although they may be numbered, we will cherish the special moments we still have with our mom and step-dad and continue to love and support each other along the way.  Life may not always be rosey, but it still can be meaningful, and it is love that will get us through.



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